We are all desperados. ok. Maybe not all of us. But at least some of us are.
Can you say that you are not the least craving for anything?? Everybody craves for something, desperate for something.
And when we find ourselves in situation like this, we search for options to satisfy what we want and resort to every other possible choices to overcome the desperation. More often then not, we find ourselves deeply involve in sticky, messy, problems. duh, of cause.
Take me for instance.
I am desperate for xxx.
Nope, xxx is not sex.
Don't think so dirty-mindedly hor.hehe.
xxx is MMA.
Yep, MMA.
You won't know how energetically one's mind can race in desperation.
Especially for a gal who love daydreaming and imagination so wild.hee.
To say I am hoping is an understatement.
Everytime the phone rings, those searing moments of fervent hope, as I beg it silently to be from that santha fella to just give me some good news. some hope about MMA.
U probably cant imagine the desperation can be.
And needless to say, that phone call has not arrive. Not yet anyway. Soon it will is what i WANT to believe.
Damn it.
Izzie Stevens in Grey's Anatomy:
I believe we have to believe we can survive in order to survive.
Desperation lead me to be so bushuang of those jpa scholar who are going MMA on soon. On the 23rd, to be exact.
Saw their friendster. They were like so excited they are leaving soon.
"Wah, I cant believe that we are leaving msia so soon."
"Have you pack??I havent started packing!"
"Gonna fly soon. Yeah!"
"Zwaswuyitie.Kak dilla?Spasiba.ya harasho................"blah blah blah.
Ok. I get you. I so get you loud and clear. You all are flying off to the very destination that i wanna be.
I mean, do you all have to rub it in????
Ok. So you all didnt mean to on purpose la or whatever.
I am just plain bushuang and the fact they are so happy going off to there.
Yeah, I am just looking for excuses to hate you all.
Plus the fact that you all use so many Russian words there.(showing off huh??)
Plus the fact that all of you all are so excited.(Yeah, cz none of you know that classes probably will be starting next week.)
Plus the fact that all of you all are smart asses who got scholarships and don't have to spend a single cent on your study there.( while I will be spending so much of my parents' hard-earned money.)
Plus sis mention that jpa scholar and FAMA-students who study with parents' sponsorship- tak ngam wan.
Plus they get plenty of allowances to splurge every month on good food and good stuff while we FAMA have to scrimp and save every bit.
Plus the fact that my sis 2nd year that seniors batch who are supposed to stay in Kahov kena kicked out of Kahov to stay in Pushkin which is a not so nice hostel. Why?? Because apparently those rooms in Kahov are reserved for you all. Who cares about seniors or not. Who cares bout first come first serve. You all have good lodgings and good food prepared, waiting for your royal arrival. No sweat. Why worry?
Damnit.Pissed off.
Yeah, I admit I am a sour grape. Very sour indeed.
You are probably thinking "c'mon, because you don't have good and smart genius brains like them. Else why aren't you a jpa scholar?? Being all sour grape doesn't help you at all."
Yeah, I am a sour grape.
I cant help it. I am worrying about my room my hostel my group my life there. Because I keep hearing news about what another 50 1st year students move in today and mama-the matron- screaming cz not enough rooms available. And groups all being fully booked ald. Classes maybe starting next week. Try imagine the stress. I feel so helpless that I cant even help myself. Just following along like a jellyfish in the sea. Sis and WS say it is normal to be so damnably jealous. Really?? I never used to be jealous of them. Thought they live their life, I live mine. Who cares? Only recently, when things started being all screwed up. PY say everything happen for a reason. I believe that too. Everything happen for a reason and purpose behind it. Have faith.
For now, I am still waiting for that particular phone call. Which, if my luck is good, will come tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Maybe next week. Worst, maybe never.
I won't give up. I can't and I won't. Aza Aza Fighting to myself.
But for now, I am clinging desperately to that painfully beautiful streak of hope. That everything goes well.
Wish me luck huh.
On the other hand, my crazy friends are getting wasted and i feel the temptation to join in.haha.no names mention.
F, enjoy urself at the chalet ar. Hopefully, you won't end up hugging your "bloody" toilet bowl. Again.Ha!
p/s seriously, he is cute cute la. Not that kind of cute but cute enough.
Can you say that you are not the least craving for anything?? Everybody craves for something, desperate for something.
And when we find ourselves in situation like this, we search for options to satisfy what we want and resort to every other possible choices to overcome the desperation. More often then not, we find ourselves deeply involve in sticky, messy, problems. duh, of cause.
Take me for instance.
I am desperate for xxx.
Nope, xxx is not sex.
Don't think so dirty-mindedly hor.hehe.
xxx is MMA.
Yep, MMA.
You won't know how energetically one's mind can race in desperation.
Especially for a gal who love daydreaming and imagination so wild.hee.
To say I am hoping is an understatement.
Everytime the phone rings, those searing moments of fervent hope, as I beg it silently to be from that santha fella to just give me some good news. some hope about MMA.
U probably cant imagine the desperation can be.
And needless to say, that phone call has not arrive. Not yet anyway. Soon it will is what i WANT to believe.
Damn it.
Izzie Stevens in Grey's Anatomy:
I believe we have to believe we can survive in order to survive.
Desperation lead me to be so bushuang of those jpa scholar who are going MMA on soon. On the 23rd, to be exact.
Saw their friendster. They were like so excited they are leaving soon.
"Wah, I cant believe that we are leaving msia so soon."
"Have you pack??I havent started packing!"
"Gonna fly soon. Yeah!"
"Zwaswuyitie.Kak dilla?Spasiba.ya harasho................"blah blah blah.
Ok. I get you. I so get you loud and clear. You all are flying off to the very destination that i wanna be.
I mean, do you all have to rub it in????
Ok. So you all didnt mean to on purpose la or whatever.
I am just plain bushuang and the fact they are so happy going off to there.
Yeah, I am just looking for excuses to hate you all.
Plus the fact that you all use so many Russian words there.(showing off huh??)
Plus the fact that all of you all are so excited.(Yeah, cz none of you know that classes probably will be starting next week.)
Plus the fact that all of you all are smart asses who got scholarships and don't have to spend a single cent on your study there.( while I will be spending so much of my parents' hard-earned money.)
Plus sis mention that jpa scholar and FAMA-students who study with parents' sponsorship- tak ngam wan.
Plus they get plenty of allowances to splurge every month on good food and good stuff while we FAMA have to scrimp and save every bit.
Plus the fact that my sis 2nd year that seniors batch who are supposed to stay in Kahov kena kicked out of Kahov to stay in Pushkin which is a not so nice hostel. Why?? Because apparently those rooms in Kahov are reserved for you all. Who cares about seniors or not. Who cares bout first come first serve. You all have good lodgings and good food prepared, waiting for your royal arrival. No sweat. Why worry?
Damnit.Pissed off.
Yeah, I admit I am a sour grape. Very sour indeed.
You are probably thinking "c'mon, because you don't have good and smart genius brains like them. Else why aren't you a jpa scholar?? Being all sour grape doesn't help you at all."
Yeah, I am a sour grape.
I cant help it. I am worrying about my room my hostel my group my life there. Because I keep hearing news about what another 50 1st year students move in today and mama-the matron- screaming cz not enough rooms available. And groups all being fully booked ald. Classes maybe starting next week. Try imagine the stress. I feel so helpless that I cant even help myself. Just following along like a jellyfish in the sea. Sis and WS say it is normal to be so damnably jealous. Really?? I never used to be jealous of them. Thought they live their life, I live mine. Who cares? Only recently, when things started being all screwed up. PY say everything happen for a reason. I believe that too. Everything happen for a reason and purpose behind it. Have faith.
For now, I am still waiting for that particular phone call. Which, if my luck is good, will come tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Maybe next week. Worst, maybe never.
I won't give up. I can't and I won't. Aza Aza Fighting to myself.
But for now, I am clinging desperately to that painfully beautiful streak of hope. That everything goes well.
Wish me luck huh.
On the other hand, my crazy friends are getting wasted and i feel the temptation to join in.haha.no names mention.
F, enjoy urself at the chalet ar. Hopefully, you won't end up hugging your "bloody" toilet bowl. Again.Ha!
p/s seriously, he is cute cute la. Not that kind of cute but cute enough.
2 comments:
well,rily dunno u r so desperate.N u din rily tell me much about it.so i tol u r ok.haix wat a failure fren m i!!but nvm.Fr now on if anything feel free to tell me la.dun keep to yrself end up write in yr blog pula.rather write den tell me la..haix..disappointed ya...anythin can msg me 1..i miss dos day v wil msg n call each other to update our stuff n talk dos fei fei things ...haha.so dun lazy ya..me n py wil pray 4 u.believe in yrself.u sure can do it1...hope u will carry on yr spirit.Nvr ever give out!!!tat's wat i believe there's always rainbow after the rain.Fav words :gambateh,aza aza fighting and jiayou o!noe who m i?guess ba!haha.bluek....
No need to guess lo.
Who else beside you will use those three words we always like to use: Gambateh, Aza aza and jiayou!!
Really sorry i didnt say out. But i just didnt know how to even start talking about them. And most of the time I was willing myself not to dwell on that matter. That what was meant to happen will happen. I don't want to worry thats why i seldom ever mention it to anybody.
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